I just wanted to write a quick note to you all to say that if you know somebody that’s caring for somebody with Alzheimer’s be it friend or relative, don’t walk away from them. Their life is hard enough without you making them lonely too. Try to be understanding of the fact that they wont always be able to do things with you but still be there for them. I’m sure if it was you that was caring you’d expect them to stick around wouldn’t you?
I know from personal experience that being an Alzheimer’s carer can be a really lonely thing at times. Friends don’t understand, family walk away because they can’t stand to see their supposed loved one like that, and before you know it; it’s just you and them. In my case it’s now just me and my Grandparents.
I get really angry sometimes when I look at my family, all of the people that my Grandparents have gone out of their way over the years to help. None of them even bother with so much as a phone call to see how my grandparents are these days. It’s disgraceful.
They say it’s because they don’t want to see my Grandad ‘the way he is’. My Grandad has been like a Dad to me, do they think I do want to see him like this? Of course I don’t but I’m still there by his side every day because I love my Grandad and after all him and my Grandma have done for me over the years I think being there for him in his time of need is the least I can do . I suppose they think my Grandma wants to see the man she loves deteriorate before her very eyes? Of course she doesn’t. It’s breaking her heart to see him like this but she’s there. Every day.
I think that’s a ridiculous and downright selfish excuse for anybody to use.
This post wasn’t just about my family though. It’s a message to all of you that know somebody who is caring for somebody with Alzheimer’s. Pick the phone up, give them a call. Have a chat with them, who knows maybe your call will brighten up an otherwise lonely day. It doesn’t take much to show that you still care.
Because like I said, sometimes being a carer can be really lonely, and you
know just because a person has Alzheimer’s it doesn’t mean that they’re dead. They’re still alive. Alzheimer’s isn’t a good enough reason for you to stop caring, in fact if you weren’t so selfish it would inspire you to care more.
Sadly now I think it’s too late for any of my family reading this to suddenly start taking an interest in my Grandad again. His Alzheimer’s is too far advanced he wouldn’t know any of you any more. Just like he doesn’t know me or my Grandma. The only difference there is, we’ve been there to watch him forget us. I’m glad he doesn’t remember the ones that walked away because if he did he’d remember that you don’t care.
But it might not be too late for you! Reach out to your family or friends who are caring, see if there’s anything you can do to help, even if it’s just like I said a friendly phone call to take their mind of caring for five minutes. It all helps.
Just food for thought.
What do you think? Comment down below or tweet me @MissCharlotteEm and let me know! xo
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